Today Jokes
First Joke:
Lee Sum Wan: Hello can I speak to Annie Wan
Mr Sori: Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this
Lee Sum Wan: I'm Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I dont have time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori: I'm Sori.
Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori: I'm Sori !!
Lee Sum Wan: I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori !! I'm SORI! You didnt even give me your name!
Lee Sum Wan: I told u before i'm Sum Wan ! Sum Wan !!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori: Oh im so scared(sarcastically).Look i dont care about ur uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.
Lee Sum Wan: No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't work there.
Mr Sori: Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan: Which Wan(don't have any idea on how to alternatively spell the name)is my sis!
Mr. Sori: I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i'll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. "Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u're their uncle, u're a nobody. And its not true about her aunt screwing everybody because i havent screw her yet."how bout that!?
Toot....Toot....Toot.................
Second Joke:
An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board,butunfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President." She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.
The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps.
The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy replies "No problem your popeness, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag!!!!"
Good Eyes
This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up.
"My skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Technorati Tags: Jokes
Lee Sum Wan: Hello can I speak to Annie Wan
Mr Sori: Yes u could speak to me.
Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!
Mr Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this
Lee Sum Wan: I'm Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.
Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?
Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.
Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I dont have time for this!!!
Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?
Mr Sori: I'm Sori.
Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!
Mr Sori: I'm Sori !!
Lee Sum Wan: I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!
Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already I'm Sori! I'm Sori !! I'm SORI! You didnt even give me your name!
Lee Sum Wan: I told u before i'm Sum Wan ! Sum Wan !!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy.
Mr Sori: Oh im so scared(sarcastically).Look i dont care about ur uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.
Lee Sum Wan: No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't work there.
Mr Sori: Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!
Lee Sum Wan: Which Wan(don't have any idea on how to alternatively spell the name)is my sis!
Mr. Sori: I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i'll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. "Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u're their uncle, u're a nobody. And its not true about her aunt screwing everybody because i havent screw her yet."how bout that!?
Toot....Toot....Toot.................
Second Joke:
An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board,butunfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps.
The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future President." She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.
The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of the United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps.
The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy replies "No problem your popeness, there is also a parachute for you. America's most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag!!!!"
Good Eyes
This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up.
"My skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."
Technorati Tags: Jokes
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